My life as a demented stalker
by Suna Kurai
Summary: The title's just right, isn't it? I mean, let's start off with waking up at Orochimaru's hideout with some guy trying to cut you open, finding a member of your clan in some containment thing, getting shipped to multiple hideouts of his/its for the period of three years. This is probably why I ended up this way. Ironic, huh? An S-rank criminal stalking a chunin from the leaf, Kiba.
1. How I ended up like this

I woke up to find myself in a damp and dark place. I notice something shiny. It bound my attention to it for awhile. It was some sort of blade, a scalpel, perhaps. There was a silver-haired man with glasses holding it.

It was hard to see with light this dim. No, dim was an understatement, it was pitch black the only thing that assured me I was alive were the candles and beeping sounds from whatever machine and wires were rigged up around here.

Wait a minute. I couldn't move too well. I felt like I was in an asylum. I was strapped to a hospital bed. WHAT THE HELL?! I WAS STRAPPED TO A HOSPITAL BED! WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY GONNA DO TO ME?!

I can't move. Well, I'm sure I can break free, the straps aren't really gonna electrocute me or tighten when I struggle, the thing is, I was too weak to struggle. I don't get it.

Hey, where are all these wires rigged up to anyway?

I checked. I'm pretty sure silver glasses boy, I don't care if the nickname doesn't make sense, knows I'm awake since I've been moving my head for awhile. It was creepy how he was putting his surgical gloves on. He looked about nineteen or twenty, I'm not sure.

Anyway, I turned my head to the sides. I then discovered something horribly disturbing.

WHAT THE FREAKING HELL?! WHY ARE THOSE WIRES CONNECTED TO ME?! WHAT ARE THEY DOING?! AM I THEIR GUINEA PIG OR SOMETHING?!

You know, as much as I was freaking out in my head, my body wasn't quite responding well to what my mind was ranting about.

My hand felt my leg. It was there. They haven't cut any body parts or anything. I was immediately relieved when I realized I could move my hand. That means I still have limbs! Let's all celebrate and have a freaking party or what not! Yeah, I would if I wasn't jammed here. What was I; a science experiment?

I was almost completely relieved until I discovered something even more disturbing.

I'm… I'm… Is this really for real? I checked and rubbed my arms on the parts I wouldn't want bare and it was confirmed. I was naked. Yeah, I figured.

Wait a minute I'm naked. Shit! I'm naked!

I'M FREAKING NAKED! WHAT THE HELL DO THEY PLAN ON DOING TO ME?!

Yeah that was enough to get me moving. I was seriously freaking out and yelling words I didn't even know existed. Well, I was mostly cussing but there's no need to mention those words here. It would probably take up more than five hundred words if I go over with silver boy trying to calm me down.

Man, it still doesn't sound right.

I struggled hard enough. Yeah, thanks for stripping me down naked; it was my ticket to escaping. Boy Glasses was still muttering words in an attempt to clam me down.

Ok seriously, would you calm down after seeing a machine rigged up on you and all those wires and stuff? What about when you suddenly realize you're naked and have a feeling you're going to become someone's science experiment or that shit? What about the blunt fact that you woke up strapped to a hospital bed in some damp cave that reeks of snake scent while seeing some random guy holding a scalpel about to cut you open. Seriously, who _wouldn't_ freak out like this?

Silver boy glasses—yes! It finally doesn't sound awkward!—inched closer to me. It disturbed me and I kicked him hard on his face covered with a surgical mask.

I knocked the glasses off as well as the surgical mask. I saw black eyes. I wasn't so sure since it was really, like _really_ dark. I wonder if he was a sick pervert or some mad doctor or something. I didn't see his face though, I just ran wherever I can just to save my skin literally.

I passed a couple of rooms and nearly passed out seeing all the people or whatever was lying in those beds cut open. I couldn't hear anything but my own heartbeat thumping hard. I wondered if he was chasing me. Heck, I didn't even hear my own footsteps and loud cussing. Seriously, I'm not foul-mouthed but when it comes to times like this, yeah, I freak out and a torrent of them just comes out of my mouth.

Sure, I was also screaming get away from me or stop chasing me or help and what not but it was mostly those words which made me quite distinguishable.

Seriously, I felt like Silver boy glasses was a mad scientist. How many people are in here? They were in glass containers with lots of wires. There were so many test tubes and other kinds of flasks. I did not dare touch any of them. They might have chemicals that can put me to sleep or something.

One thing's for sure, I _did not_ want to fall asleep here again. Were all these people dead? No, highly unlikely. I'm pretty sure they're alive but unconscious. It makes me shudder. I just want to get out of here! I don't care if I'm naked! I'll find clothes! It's not like clothes are scarce!

I caught a glimpse of something that flickered. I looked behind me and it was Silver boy glasses. I had no time to waste! I turned to a corner with lots of doors and entered the easiest one to enter.

It was dark, it's not like he'd see me. Besides, it wasn't even a door; it was some hole in this piece of rock. He passed by. What a relief.

I finally breathed. I didn't realize I was holding my breath the whole time. I was checked if Silver boy glasses was gone.

Hell yeah! He was gone alright! Oh yeah! Victory dance! I'm so awesome!

Then suddenly, someone spoke.

"Hey stop that, your ass is bouncing," said an unfamiliar voice from behind me.

Wait a minute. There was _actually_ someone _here_?! I didn't turn.

"Hey, it's alright, you can turn, it's not like this room is lit," he said.

"Then how come you commented on my butt bouncing?" she blushed.

"It was so obvious; I can see your silhouette for crying out loud,"

"Oh, you could see my… oh…" I turned. "Where are you?"

"I'm right here," a face appeared from a giant tube filled with water. I was shocked and I had a good minute of cussing before I got over it. He was laughing. He was freaking laughing. Oh sure, I mean, if you were caught doing your victory dance naked and then he suddenly gets a torrent of freaking out outta you, I would guess I'd be hysterical too if, oh I don't know, I WASN'T THE ONE HE WAS LAUGHING AT.

He finally stopped laughing. "You looked like decent woman from the start," His expression changed. Why did his expression change?

"Why what's wrong?"

"What's your hair color?"

"You can see, right? I'm not crazy, you're real, right?"

"Yeah, but it's hard to tell considering how well lit this room is," yeah, I could taste the sarcasm

"Oh shut the hell up," I remarked, "If you must know, it's…" I noticed something weird. "Ne, what's your name?"

"Eh?" he seemed puzzled as well, "Why do you wanna know?"

"You have purple eyes, right?"

"Yeah… What of it?"

"And your hair is white or silver tinted with blue right?"

"Can't you see clearly? I may not see you clearly but I'm pretty sure it's well lit in this container,"

"Open your mouth,"

"I don't see the reason but, sure," he opened his mouth and so she found a number of exceptionally sharp teeth.

"Ok, I'm gonna ask you again, what's your name?"

"Suigetsu… Why?"

"Your clan name?"

"Oh it's— Wait a minute! What's _your _name first?"

"It's Suika," I said, "Suika Hozuki,"

"H-hozuki?!" he exclaimed, "No way! I thought I was the only one left!"

"So you _are_ a Hozuki!" I was really surprised, "I thought _I_ was the only one left!"

"No kidding,"

"What are you doing here?"

"They're conducting experiments on me," he said casually but then shuddered, "It's disturbing,"

"What do you mean 'they'? Isn't Silver boy glasses the only one conducting experiments around here?" Thank goodness he wasn't some sick pervert!

"You mean Kabuto?"

"So that's his name,"

"He's just an apprentice here,"

"A-an apprentice…? Then who's up to this whole thing?"

"You don't know?" It sounded like something as obvious as breathing.

"Who is it?"

"Orochimaru,"

"OROCHIMARU?!"

That was it. It was the end of me. I passed out.

* * *

I woke up and my hunch was right, Silver-boy-glasses was cutting me open. Shit, I'm gonna die! Why does it have to end this way?! Why?! I just met the other last member of my clan and then they'll kill me! Please be gentle with killing me, please! Oh who am I kidding! I DON'T WANNA DIE! HELP!

Wait. Why the hell am I screaming in my head?! Nobody's gonna hear me of course, stupid. I let out a scream. Hey! I can hear myself now! That was progress!

"GET AWAY FROM ME YOU FREAK! WHERE THE HELL IS OROCHIMARU?" I kicked his face and knocked his glasses off. Again, I might add.

"Hey, calm down, you're gonna bleed," he said as he put his glasses back on.

"How can I calm down when I know you're gonna kill me?!"

"I'm not gonna kill—" he was cut off by the hoarse and creepy voice that belonged to by far the most disgustingly gay shinobi in the ninja world, Orochimaru. Well, at least he's/it's gay; I don't have to worry about him/it being a sick pervert.

"Don't bother, Kabuto," his/its voice sent chills to my spine and I realized Silver boy glasses' name was Kabuto. Good, I don't have to go by a weird nickname anymore.

"What are you gonna do to me?" I sounded scared. Well, I was scared but that will just be our little secret, won't it?

"Don't worry, we're not gonna kill you," he/it said calmly. Seriously, how much make up does he put on his eyes?

"You're cutting me open and you're expecting me to believe that you won't dissect me?" I made a comeback, although, the wound they cut with the scalpel was starting to bleed uncontrollably.

"The only way you'll die is if you continue on with this and lose all your blood," Silver boy—I mean, Kabuto, said. Well, that was it. I didn't wanna die so I kinda went with their ideals. I was silenced.

"Good, you finally calmed down," Orochimaru said. He/It seemed less creepy and more disgusting. Either way, he/it still makes me shudder.

"Wait," I hesitated for a moment, "What are you gonna do to me?"

"I'm just making you stronger; don't you want to be stronger?" He's/it's trying to lure me with power.

He/It held out his/its hand for me to take. I thought about it for a good few minutes before I finally took it. The power bribe worked too well. No, I don't care for power. I just wanted to get out of here, to get Suigetsu out of here since, well, we were the only ones left in our clan. The only way to escape was to become stronger and if that meant sticking close to the enemy then so be it.

This was the beginning of a very unexpected and twisted story. What better place to begin it than Orochimaru's hideout, huh? Still that _thing_ is freaking disgusting if you know what I mean.

* * *

**Author's note- I kinda focused this on Suika's background first. The other members will come in the second or third chapter. Thanks for reading!**


	2. The Hidden Leaf Village

So here I am. This place has been what I called home for a year now. I am officially thirteen years old today. Today is also a special day for that gay snake—I mean, Orochimaru-sama. I can't take any chances! They might be able to read my thoughts! I wouldn't want them to kill me now, would I?

Well, today, Orochima-chan was infiltrating the Hidden Leaf and probably causing havoc on this year's chunin exams. It was something about looking for a new body. It makes me shudder just thinking about it.

I'm pretty sure he's gonna choose some girl again— probably one with a big bust like the last time. He's so jealous of women. He's creepy really but not as much as I'm disgusted of him.

Well, at least I have time to talk to Suigetsu-nii. Well, he's my cousin but "Suigetsu-itoko" doesn't sound right to me. Kabuto-niisan was supposed to go to the leaf first I realized.

Then that means…

NO! NO! I CAN'T BE STUCK WITH THAT GAY SNAKE! NOT IN A MILLION YEARS! NO! KABUTO-NIISAN HAS NO MERCY AT ALL! THIS IS THE END! THE WORLD WILL END TODAY! WHY?!

"Ano, Suika-chan…?" I realized I was crouching down shaking my head teary-eyed while my hands clutched my hair. "What are you doing?"

I turned to him. "Don't leave me with Orochima-chan!" I know one thing's for sure. He can't resist the face I was giving him! I was teary-eyed and pouting. My eyes were pleading. I have to convince him! I can't stay with Orochima-chan!

"Orochima-chan…?" he gave me a puzzled look and I can see drops of sweat forming on the side of his face.

OH CRAP…! NO! THE GAY SNAKE MUST NEVER FIND OUT!

"Please don't tell it—I mean him!" I pleaded, "I just like coming up with cute nicknames for disgusting—I mean, powerful, yes, powerful— people to make them look less intimidating!"

I hoped he'd buy it. If he doesn't then I should say goodbye to my head. It was such a nice and useful head too.

Then he laughed. "You're really weird, you know that?" he said, "I won't tell him but next time though, be sure to call him Orochimaru-sama, okay?"

"Hai," I smiled. That was close.

Then he turned to the exit.

"Wait! Don't leave me here! It—I mean he—terrifies me!" I gave him my pleading look again.

He sighed. "Orochimaru-sama," he walked past me. Yes! I knew it would work!

I went in Suigetsu-nii's room.

"Ohayou, Suigetsu-nii…!" I smiled.

As expected, his form appeared from the body of water in the tube. Naked, as always, but it didn't bother me much anymore than the first time I saw him.

"Tch," was the first thing that came in his mouth, "Damn, I wanna be free too you know. Why do you have to show me that you all are free when I'm not?"

Drops of sweat formed on the side of my head. I smiled. "Don't feel too bad!" I told him, "Remember, we're gonna get out of here together when I'm strong enough to bust out, okay?"

"Yeah, and smart enough," he mumbled.

"NANI...?"

He laughed. "Yeah, you make me feel good about myself," he smiled, "At least it wasn't as bad as when I was alone."

"Suika," Kabuto-niisan was calling out. Then he found me in Suigetsu-nii's room.

"Suika, Orochimaru-sama allowed you to come," He said, "But are you sure you want to get mixed up in all this?"

"No, I don't," I answer casually. "I just don't wanna stay behind alone with Orochima-cha—Orochimaru-sama," I corrected myself.

"Well, he's gonna follow anyway," he said.

"It's okay! Then I can go back when he comes!" I told him.

"Seriously, Suika," said Suigetsu, "How immature are you?"

"What about you? Hm…!" I retorted

"Whatever," he shrugged, "Don't get your ass caught into serious trouble when you get there."

I smiled wide-eyed. "You mean it?! I can go?"

"Tch," he looked away, blushing a little, "Just come back in one piece. It's rare for Orochimaru's subjects and experiments to come back alive after a mission.

"Yay…!" I jumped and hugged the glass tube containing my cousin. Sure, he may be a little vulgar but I'm glad to know he cares about me! I thought he only cared about getting out of here and those blades.

"I'll be going now, Suigetsu-nii!" I called at him.

"Don't get your ass caught into any trouble," he called back.

"I won't!" I called back.

Then I walked outside the hideout with Kabuto-niisan. Finally! Fresh air once again after three months!

I ran around in circles as Kabuto-niisan walked in a straight line. I kept hanging on trees and swinging to each of them one by one. I don't get out much. The only good thing about Orochima-chan is that he grants my requests when Kabuto-niisan asks. I guarantee that he always says yes but when it's me, there's a 50/50 chance.

Finally, I got tired. I just walked alongside Kabuto-niisan.

"Ne Kabuto-niisan," I began, "What am I gonna do there?"

"That depends on you but I suggest you enjoy yourself and don't show that you're from Orochimaru-sama's hideout. You look pretty normal to me. You'll pass as a thirteen year-old girl."

"Eh? I can't be a shinobi?"

"They don't have a record of you," he said, "You can pass as my little sister, okay?"

"Okay." I smiled. I'm finally out of that prison. Best I enjoy myself for the time being. I started singing. Well, it had no lyrics; it was just the mainstream "La, la, la, la!"

Really loud and off key too…

"Suika, please, don't sing too loud," he begged. Yeah, I figured I sounded horrible.

Then we finally reached the leaf. He waved at the two guards.

"This is my little sister," He smiled, "I picked her up from the village not too far from here,"

"Eh? She's cute!" Said one

"What's your name?" said the other

"Ano, Suika," I replied with an awkward smile.

"Suika," then they turned to Kabuto, "She's gonna grow up to be pretty. You better watch out for suitors!"

"Yes, yes, I will," he awkwardly smiled as well. He led me through the village streets. "I'll be here awhile so you better know every corner of this place two days from now."

"I will," I smiled. I'm finally free! Even just for awhile, I wanted to slip away but I thought of Suigetsu-nii and how we were both supposed to escape together.

He led me into an apartment where he said he was staying for the time being.

"You may explore the village and return here when you're tired," he said, "But make sure to return by 9 pm, you got that?"

"I have six hours," I said, "Just watch! I'll have this place and the outside of this place memorized by the time I get back!"

"Go on then," he gestured for me to go on the streets.

I ran waving to him and watched go in his apartment. I then began exploring the village. It took an hour and half to get the whole place down. I especially liked the place called Ichiraku Ramen. I loved their ramen! It was the best I've ever tasted in my life!

There, I met a boy my age that amazed me. He had so many bowls of ramen stacked up on the side and still wanted more. What really amazed me was that fact that he wasn't fat.

"Ano," I began, "The ramen here is amazing, huh?"

The blonde looked at me then smiled. "Of course it is! I love this place! I love ramen!" he replied. I liked the enthusiasm on this boy. I can see it through his answers. I wanted him to be my friend but even if we were to stay here for awhile, when the gay snake comes, I'll be leaving.

Well, I could just ask him for his name and get acquainted at least.

"Ne, I'm Suika," I smiled, "You are?"

"Uzumaki, Naruto!" He practically yelled happily, "I'm gonna become Hokage!" So that's where the enthusiasm comes from.

"Well, I'm sure you're gonna make it someday," I said and I got down from the chair, "Well, I gotta go,"

"Sure! It was nice meeting you!" he smiled.

I walked around the village until I saw a small dog. It was white and really cute. I picked it up.

"Hello cute dog, where's your owner? Is he here anywhere?" I asked smiling. The dog seems to have taken a liking to me since it started licking my fingers.

"Yes, that's Akamaru, my dog," said a voice from behind me. I turned to set the dog—Akamaru—down. Then I stood up and smiled with my eyes closed.

"You have a very cute dog," I said and opened my eyes. The boy in front of me was my age. He was wearing a jacket and the hood was down revealing that he had brown hair. His eyes were a peculiar appearance but it suits his face well.

He looked different.

There were red marks on both his cheeks— handsome.

"Who are you?" he asked, "I don't think I've seen you yet."

I don't know why I felt nervous. I just did. He made me blush.

"Ano, I'm staying here for awhile but I'll be going back to my village in a couple of days or weeks or so," I can't believe I'm actually talking in detail. I never talk in detail. I only do when I'm nervous.

"Really…?" he replied, "Well, do you want me to show you around—?"

"Yes that would be really nice!" I covered my mouth. I answered too fast. "I mean, I can handle myself but it would be nice if, you know, someone could show me around. It'd be a lot easier! Yeah, that's right! It's not like I'm attracted to you or anything—ah! Forget I said that! I didn't mean it and—"

Then he laughed. "Well you seem to be interesting," he remarked. It made me blush all the more. He wasn't disturbed! I thought he'd be. "My name is Kiba Inuzuka, you are?"

"I'm Suika," I sounded messed up. I'm glad I said my name right.

"Well then, Suika, I'm going to give you a tour of the Hidden Leaf Village," he smiled and so I followed him as he showed me around.


End file.
